wipingallout

"Coming in!"

Gently turning the knob, Hamuko entered the room and... well, while it isn't her own room with her own things, the scene isn't an unfamiliar one. Something painful happened.

Still, she just politely closed the door behind her, setting the plate on the desk in the room and going to sit on the bed next to Sumi, smiling warmly.

"Something happened," she said softly, though left it there for the moment, letting Sumi dictate if she was ready to talk details yet. "I can be an ear. Or a shoulder! Or a cuddle buddy. Anything you might need."

At least she's not making a big deal about the food. (She shouldn't be surprised Aragaki-san said something about it, but she is, a little.)

Practically as soon as Hamuko sits down, Sumire leans against her, but it's still a bit before she manages to say anything.

"...Have you met Morning-san?"

"In person and recently, his Shadow, too," she answered, scooting a little closer so she could wrap an arm around Sumi in a gentle hug. "His situation is scary and sad," Hamuko added, though... it didn't seem as though just running into Morning would really be the whole incident, would it?

"...Yeah. His Shadow." If Sumire's being honest, his situation isn't just scary and sad, it's flat-out traumatic. But - as someone who's been in very similar shackles, she can't just avoid him.

"I was trying to figure out how I could help - if I could help without making it worse - and he called me-- worthless." The last word is barely a whisper. "He didn't actually finish saying it, but it doesn't matter. And I just - I just want to talk to Akechi-senpai. My Akechi-senpai, and he's not here."

Worthless... a heavy, painful word and from the sounds of it, one that had already cut deeply into Sumi before. Gently, Hamuko rubbed at Sumi's back, quietly supportive as she listened.

"Your senpai... I know the feeling," she admitted quietly - maybe Sumi could tell, maybe she couldn't, but Hamuko knows exactly how another world's version of someone you know just... isn't the same. "If he were here, what do you think he'd say?"

It's both better and worse that most of the previous cutting that word did was self-inflicted. Better in that there's no need to kick anyone's ass over it, but far worse in that the habit is harder to break.

"I'd only just started to get to know him. We knew each other in passing, but - he said the others brought him along for my Palace because he was the only one of the bunch who'd actually met Kasumi." She's starting to wonder if there was more to it than that, but it's not like she can ask any time soon.

"So... I don't really know. But I do know he'd say I'm allowed to have messy feelings about all this, and I'm pretty sure he'd agree that leaving Morning-san like that is - it isn't an option. Not when he's a puppet."

"I think he'd be totally right," Hamuko agreed with a soft nod. A Palace... being actualized... and being stuck as a puppet.

Chained, and restrained.

What Morning's father did to him was reprehensible.

"Those chains don't seem to be able to get uprooted, I gave it a good old college try myself... but I think that means he needs to break them himself. Maybe with some help. You know what experiencing this is like... was it the same for you? How did the others help for you?"

"It probably does. Akira-senpai said they'd known about my Palace for a while before he first talked to me about it, but they couldn't actually finish dealing with it without my help. Morning-san struggles to keep details about the Metaverse in his head, though... it might be harder to get him to comprehend it long enough to do anything."

Not impossible, or Sumire's half-certain he wouldn't have a Shadow in the first place. But much, much harder.

"It... was and wasn't like this. The metaphor my Palace went for was goblin fruit - piles of it, imposed on me by an outsider in a bargain I asked for but didn't wholly understand. I don't think I have to say who the goblin was. I'm not sure I could have rejected that influence on my own, but I had to be the one to tell him to leave. To replace the fruit with my own work." Luckily, the Palace had a well-stocked kitchen for exactly that purpose, but Sumire's still pretty sure she would have been doomed on her own.

And that she stood a very high risk of stumbling into Dr. Maruki's Palace the day she ended up here, if the others hadn't already helped her clear up her own. Gods know what might have happened then.

"I also think... what Morning-san has repressed is different than what I did. My Shadow had some angry moments, sure, but she was also very gentle with me, because I was repressing all of myself, and I've never been great at embracing my good points in the first place. I really don't think Morning-san's Shadow is all that inclined to be gentle. With anyone, least of all himself."

"Right... I get the impression that his father was suppressing the undesirable parts," Hamuko nodded, her voice carrying a rare tone. She was willing to hear quite a few people out, but... she couldn't see any rationale besides self interest or malice for doing what someone had done to Morning.

"It seems like all of the parts of Morning that are hurting and want to lash out, to me... the more extreme end of someone's thoughts not tempered by the ego or superego, right?"

Getting called worthless even with that in mind, though... that's cruel. Difficult. Painful.

"I believe no one is worthless. Especially not you, Sumire."

"I can understand wanting to cling to the very few people you have, but... not like that. Not by making them change." She says, having tied herself in knots trying to win Kasumi's understanding - but at least Sumire was doing that to herself. It's not really better, but it is different.

Sumire sighs, her breath finally catching like she might start crying. "I felt like I was for so long. Sometimes I still do."

"I know..." Hamuko whispered, resting her cheek against the top of Sumire's head. Worthless wasn't the word for Hamuko, back then, it was more...

"It's okay. The negative self-talk is kinda hard to shake off, it takes a while. But you're not worthless. You're smart, considerate, and thoughtful... if you want to keep helping Morning, then I support you. I've been trying to help him, too, even if I've been kind of just cluelessly bumbling around it."

Shifting a bit, Hamuko moved so she could give Sumi a proper hug. "And if you don't want to because it hurts, that's completely okay too. I'm in your corner whatever you do."

"Futaba-senpai did say it's actually harder to stop putting yourself down, once you have a handle on making it to the next day. She also said bad days would still happen." And Sumire's trying to keep that in mind, she really is, but... sometimes the demons win out.

She leans into the hug. "It hurts, of course, it hurts, but - we can't just leave him like that. Him or Midnight-san or anyone else."

"I agree. I'm sorry he said such cruel things - but it wasn't true, and even if Morning isn't grateful by the end, it's the right thing to do. We can do it."

Thankless work... she was definitely familiar with that.

"I've got your back. I'm all in on helping them too. You can call for me anytime, I promise," she said softly - for as long as Igor had her here, she was going to give her all to help everyone in here. That has to be why he brought her in, after all.

That's finally enough for Sumire to start crying. She's not even worried about making a mess of Hamuko's shirt; she knows she needs it.

"I don't - I might need to back off from this one. Trying to directly help Morning-san, I mean. Whenever Midnight-san's Palace becomes something we're digging into, I feel like I have to be there for that, and... I can only take so much of this at once."

"That makes sense too. Leave him to me, then - I promise I won't let either of you down," she assured, rubbing Sumi's back, glad that the tears are coming. It seems like they needed to come out, after all.

"And I'll be there for Midnight's Palace, too. This stuff doesn't hit me the way it hurts those of you who've felt it before, who've been hurt before... I'm ready to jump in and back you all up, or tackle things when it's too much. I know you all would do the same for me, too."

"Afterward. Afterward, I could still talk to him about it. But - I don't think I can be part of freeing him."

Afterward, he's going to need people who can sympathise.

"Of course we would. The whole point of being here is that we don't have to handle things alone, isn't it?"

"Exactly!" Hamuko agreed, a light lilt in her voice as she gave Sumire a little affectionate squeeze in the hug. "If we ever get some jerk named Ikutsuki around here, I'll call in that favor. I doooon't want to deal with him," she laughed a little, still rubbing her girlfriend's back, letting her hurt and go through things - and at the end, things would be the same, and okay.

"Even if some alternate universe version of him shows up that's all puppies and rainbows with no betrayal, I don't even want to look at his face. I'd rather try to climb Tartarus all in one night."

"If he hurt you, then you shouldn't have to deal with him." Sumire doesn't recognise the name - it's not one Aragaki-san's mentioned, but then, he's pretty quiet about his own history - but for something like that, she doesn't need to. Whoever that guy is, he hurt Hamuko. If she doesn't want to see his face again, she shouldn't have to.

"Yeah. I'll let you guys deal with him, if he shows. I'll tell you more about what happened at some point," she promised, leaning her head back just a bit to try and peek at Sumire. No need to add more stressful and painful stories unless it really would help, right?

"I made some snacks. Wanna eat them together?"

"Just make sure we have the information we need, and I'm sure some of us can take care of the rest." Someone that deceptively nice would probably ping in the Nav, even.

"...I think I could eat, yeah."

"Definitely. If he shows, I'll probably make some big scary disclaimer post, blah blah here's what this bastard did to us in my universe, be careful in case he's similar or the same one, something like that," she explained with a little sigh of relief.

With a little playful giggle, she held Sumire snug in the hug... so she could leaaaaan over and grab the plate on the desk, without tipping either of them over to fall off the bed.

"I took that salmon I made a few nights ago - the dish that was just a little too salty? So I think the rice will make it much easier to eat so I didn't waste it," she laughed lightly, settling them both upright again and setting the plate in her own lap so Sumire could get comfortable as she needed. "We can keep talking if you want, or we can watch a movie or listen to music if you want to just unwind. Whatever you want, Vi."

Sumire squeaks when Hamuko leans them both over in pursuit of the plate, but she doesn't try to squirm away. Among other things, that'd just end with the food on the floor, and then what good does it do?

"...A movie sounds nice." She grabs the pillow she was clinging to before Hamuko came in, the better to use it as a makeshift lap table. "And - if you need to tell Aragaki-san I'm eating something, go ahead. He sounded worried when he asked if I wanted lunch, but that whole thing just... wrecked my appetite for a while."

"Definitely! He's such a worrywart, it's part of his charm," Hamuko giggled a bit, taking one of the rice balls and taking a bite. She figured that if anything, if Sumi's appetite came back, the whole rest of the plate would get polished off - just as planned.

"Mine was just like that too... he would always furrow his brows at us when we were eating instant food a little too much, he'd always mutter and complain about how Akihiko can't just eat nothing but protein powder, stuff like that. He'd complain, and then all softly go, look after him for me, alright?"

A little gossip, a little chatter - help fill the room with a little warmth, a little normalcy. That always helped her.

It'll get polished off and then she'll want to go look for dinner, by the end of whatever movie they settle on.

"Well, you can't just eat nothing but instant food or protein powder. Sooner or later the missing nutrients will catch up with you." Sumire sighs. "I'd ask how he can't see his own worth, but that's pot-kettle territory for sure."

"It is exactly pot-kettle. Each of you are wonderful, and make my day better every moment you're in it - that's more than 'worth' enough," Hamuko hummed, reaching over and tucking some of Sumire's hair behind her ear. Cutie.

Inbox

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)