wipingallout

Maruki grasped onto that little detail- even while keeping his expression even. "Well now you have all the time in the world to really get into it. Flowers are great and don't get me started on how my friends ended up just blatantly asking me to tag along with them to get flowers for their girlfriends-!" He giggled lightly at the memory before finding himself sobering up.

"Not even sure its the same people anymore...all of them are married now though."

And he never even learnt about it until Shibusawa brought it up.

"Say...did you keep contact with her?" He could only imagine how horrified she would be, a bright girl like Hamuko passing away right after. "Please stop me if you feel uncomfortable by that question by the way, I am just curious."

Edited 2025-07-02 09:58 (UTC)

"No, not really. She made sure I was ready for the dorms, but I'd only been there for a couple of months and that was before I really learned to come out of my shell, so... I was hard to remember out of about a dozen kids she was looking after. She and I didn't really know each other very well, so it would've been strange, I think... especially since I was about to age out of the foster system. The kids around ten definitely needed more attention."

It's a double edged sword... she would've liked a care package like Akihiko got, but on the other hand... she feels a lot better that she wouldn't burden the woman very much from dying.

"I wasn't quite able to shake off the feeling of... not wanting to be a burden. It's expensive to raise a child, after all, even with subsidies... a lot of my other foster parents had to work a lot harder with me when I was younger. Caretaker burnout really is... a lot."

She's sympathetic, but... it clearly hurt her, being passed around like a baton over and over. Having to retread the same ground, reintroduce herself, try to justify or explain her sobbing or sleepwalking or nightmares. Getting in trouble for drawing or saying things that were unsettling or disturbing in class.

"Especially for a child someone doesn't really... know. A lot of them would end up stressed out and traumatized from me."

Caretaker burnout really is... a lot.

The phrase echoed in his head like a cruel understatement, sharp and grating like microphone feedback in an empty auditorium. Maruki’s expression faltered—just for a moment. The usual warmth in his face dulled, replaced by something more raw, almost visibly trembling beneath the surface.

He leaned forward slightly—not out of disrespect, but instinct. The kind of instinct that came from watching someone walk barefoot through glass and realizing they believed they were meant to.

"Hamuko-san," he said softly, voice thick with disbelief, "you were just a child."

There was a weight to those words—not scolding, but defensive, protective, like someone trying to argue with the universe itself.

"How could it have ever been you who was the problem? You were grieving, displaced, put into unfamiliar places again and again—and yet you're the one explaining yourself? You're the one carrying the guilt?" His hands clenched for a second in his lap, unclenching slowly as he let out a breath.

"No child should ever feel like they need to justify their pain. That they have to perform stability to be worthy of care. It's not your fault they didn’t know how to hold space for your grief. That doesn't make you a burden—it makes the world you were placed in unfair. Inhuman, even."

There was a long pause. The tension in his shoulders hadn't quite gone down, but his voice gentled again, that familiar soft tone of a man trained to speak with hurting people—but whose heart still gets ahead of him.

"...You didn’t make anyone suffer, Hamuko. People failed you. That’s not on you."

He smiled then, quietly with the slightest bit of sorrow.

"That's the thing, though... I think both are true. I didn't do anything on purpose... I needed help that almost no one knew how to give. And it's not really their fault... a lot of them tried very hard to adjust, but just weren't equipped, and ended up feeling worse about themselves."

She shook her head, smiling sadly.

"No one's really at fault, no one was abusive... after all, who would ever understand a child trying to describe the Dark Hour, when that should just be... a nightmare. A trauma-induced nightmare. Right? And they did their very best with what they did know."

Maruki looks at her, the anger subliming to a tension drawn on light piano notes.

"Is that what you would have told your younger self?" He asks, honestly. "If she had asked for answers- would you be happy with providing her this one?"

"Hah! If I could've met my younger self... I would've taken care of her. I would've helped her, because I actually can," Hamuko laughed, shaking her head. "I'd be there for her... I'd tell her what's going on with the scary part of the night, and the coffins, and those shadowy things that growl in the corners."

That's not what Maruki asked, though. Not really.

"But if it were someone else... yes, I think it would be important for them. It's not their fault, and it's not that anyone hates them. Things are difficult and unfair, but people don't resent you. Things will change... you'll make friends... you'll find the thing in life worth fighting for."

"A world filled with kind, welcoming people...yes," he nods slowly. "Now that would be a miracle in its own right. Maybe that was our true purpose, you know? To give each other hope..."

And yet, she would grow up realizing that she would pass away before she could really even begin to enjoy life for what its worth.

"But what if you lose it when you never had the chance to savor it?" The smile insists, even if his jaw is tight with barely unbridled emotions. "What happens when the world wishes for ruin again? So many things in your life will always be out of your control- why wait to set it all right when you have the means to escape it?"

Edited 2025-07-03 10:19 (UTC)

"The world still wishes for it. That's why I'm still the Seal," Hamuko shook her head, smiling. "Escape means sacrificing everyone else, and I won't do that. I don't have a lot of control over how events happen, but I want to give people the ability to find happiness and hope with each other. I might be the Seal for a long, long time... and that's okay. That's what I knew going in. Even if it takes forever, I know people will find their way, someday."

"Through the power of cognition anything is possible," he remarks. "I am not sure if you are from my world or not but...if we could change the general perception to let things play out a certain way- surely that could help you."

"Or your twin brother...er, I am not sure."

"Either one... I just... worry. I don't know that Nyx would be the only supernatural entity to try and inject themselves into reality like that... even if she wasn't quite..."

Hamuko trailed off a little, unsettled.

"Apparently gods of all sorts keep appearing and competing for the fate of the world. I worry about people not being strong enough to take care of each other if the worst were to pass."

"Those gods only manifest because humanity calls upon them," he answers honestly with the smallest frown of his own. "Whether one generation of persona users step forward to seal them away for good or not- it is a little hopeless at the end of the day."

"People aren't strong enough to do that on their own. Not when it offers them safety in its certainty."

"I guess it depends on whether they all function like Nyx does - she did exist long before humans, supposedly... according to Ryoji..."

An ancient consciousness... Hamuko remembered the impression of her presence, and how truly alien it was. Especially from behind her as the Seal. But she understood the feeling in a much more... raw state.

"Nyx answered humanity's call. But what if the next one doesn't? Supposedly there was one ruling over people in the future - one that the Phantom Thieves fought? And who knows how many more before or after us."

She pauses, a little, resting a hand on her chest. Over her heart, which for now, still beats.

"...I want everyone to be better. I believe that we all can be. I think... that's what our souls cry out for - a chance to light and lead ourselves. To determine our own destinies. To stand up against something impossible or inevitable and say not today - not like this."

I think... that's what our souls cry out for - a chance to light and lead ourselves. To determine our own destinies. To stand up against something impossible or inevitable and say not today - not like this.

It took everything in his power not to scoff at the unrealistic approach Hamuko was laying out for him. Like it were easy to simply step forward, watch your entire life collapse and still find the respite to continue. His heart ached with every syllable and some aspect of his disapproval showed in the way he hummed. Or with the way his brow twitched.

"That's not possible, you know."

Edited 2025-07-09 12:03 (UTC)

"It could be. It wasn't supposed to be possible for me to stand up against Nyx."

Everything had collapsed in Hamuko's world, repeatedly. People had failed her. She had to step up where others couldn't or wouldn't.

It's okay that not everyone could do that. They shouldn't need to. But those who can... there's a responsibility that someone eventually needs to take.

"I believe in people. I think we could be capable of so much more than even we think... I think the world itself can change to make it possible for people to flourish."

Maruki chuckled lightly at her words, now thoroughly amused by her words.

"Now that is something we could precisely agree on," he nods slowly. "We can absolutely change the very fabric of reality through the power of our imagination. It's why our personas exist. Otherworldly beings, gods and goddesses stemming from the general concilement of the collective conscious."

"Had I ever mentioned where my research first stemmed off from?"

It's just a difference of opinion on how, exactly, isn't it...

Still, she paid him attention, smiling. "Where from? What inspired you to look into it?"

He beamed at her.

"I was studying how we could use cognitive pscience as a way to promote social justice." There's that sheer brightness in his eyes again as he smiles at her, voice picking up momentum. "The pain in our hearts can cause us to take steps that would be otherwise distorted in nature, yes? Actions that could cause others to suffer down the line?"

"By tapping into one's cognition we can signficantly change their perception of reality- one that adheres to an encouraging environment where people grow and not cause harm to others. Not only is it a preventative measure against a criminal's distorted desire but it's also healthier. More effective than general persecution and society's unjust treatment towards offenders. It's all a cycle of violence in the end, after all."

Edited 2025-07-11 12:42 (UTC)

"Yeah...! I think if people were more empathetic as a whole, they would start making more healthy decisions for themselves and others. More able to understand people that need help, more willing to make sure everyone has their basic needs met like food and shelter... then resorting to crime because of hunger or frustration or being maligned won't be nearly as big of a problem."

It's a hopeful thought, and one that appeals to her.

"It'd give people a chance to choose to do better."

"There are certainly a lot of people here who's hearts are too pained to be empathetic," he admits with the smallest smile. "Jaded seems to be more accurate given the constant persecution and paranaoi is definitely something that would help others get better."

Even when he lightly laughs, his expression sinks for a moment as his heart pangs in his chest. That's exactly what he wants. He wants to open up people's hearts by getting rid of the pain that makes them judge others unfairly. He looks down at himself before forcing himself to smile again.

"Sorry, I probably shouldn't be saying that. Atleast I haven't died yet."

Edited 2025-07-11 22:22 (UTC)

"I don't think you're entirely wrong, either... I think it would be easier to come out of being jaded if there was more support overall. That's how it was for me, I think... everyone can take their time and take their turns being there for someone else, or focusing on their own healing. Having friends... and bosses, and teachers, and doctors... that are all able to go I'm here for you if you need me. It really makes a world of difference."

So if he's not wrong...

"You know what's funny about that?"

Takuto turns to her, smiling almost bitterly at the way she explains herself. "We don't have anyone like that here."

"We don't have professions. We don't have a way of life. We live in an anarchy devoid of balance. It's simply an echo chamber for everyone else who are trapped in their pain."

"I think that's not entirely true, either," Hamuko shrugged, fidgeting and tapping her heel against the dirt in thought.

"A lot of us bounce off of each other pretty violently, that part is true. But I think there are those of us around here who can find solace in each other. Those of us who... needed someone that actually understands what the other person might've been through. Or at least come close to understanding."

She's thinking of SEES... how much it mattered after ten years to finally have others that could actually see the Dark Hour. To finally know she wasn't hallucinating or crazy. How her doctors before then were... unable to help.

"There's people that are at different stages of their lives, too. Who've gone through more of their pain and know the journey. Like Phoenix. And there's those who're younger, who need the help and understanding of people who have been through anything similar, like Wolf and Falcon... we were able to be there for them, and help them through the jaws of their painful pasts and they're moving forward, now. It's not hopeless."

Something in the doctor's expression softens at her explanation, remembering the days of how it all had started out before he found himself living with Morning and Kuon. They were a strange bunch, one who's situation was something he found himself being hopeless in and in the other where she called herself heartless.

...he needed to do something for them both.

"I did see the broadcast after reading about the network post," He admits- finding himself growing numb for people he had never even quite met aside from the younger Wolf- his heart grappling at the violent sighting of their shadow. "It's remarkable that all of you jumped forward to help them in their obvious time of need and from what I have read- they could end up being caught in a cycle of death if you weren't careful."

"It just...makes me wonder to what extent were they pushed to reach that stage. Was it fright? An epiphany? Radacalization? Or a culmination of everything and if that is so- what about those who don't have a visible shadow or a persona but are still hurting?"

"Well, I helped Wolf... he didn't have a Persona and didn't end up getting one, exactly. It seemed like... a lot of what was going on in his world had been building up stress. He doesn't have anybody in his world that he can trust, aside from Rookmon... and there was a good chance he might have gone down a similar path that a lot of the Akechis have gone. But here... we got to be here for him."

She gave him a soft smile.

"It didn't solve the core problem he's facing, but... he got to face his darkest feelings and understand them. He got to realize how important the friends he made here are to him. And I've been spending time with him, too - helping him have maybe a little more direction for what he can do once he's home. For now... he can focus on being a kid and figuring himself out, since he won't have that time or space to do it once he's back, it sounds like. Dungeon or not... I think people can get the emotional support from the right 'person' here, or are more likely to get it the more we have a variety of people around. Anyone has a Shadow, but I don't think we have to wait for a dungeon before we spend time with them and support them while they figure themselves out."

Maruki's expression doesn't flinch at all, in his eyes what Hamuko is saying still aligns with what he has been saying all this time.

He had figured that much was the case considering he's seen first hand how much trauma and rage can be held in someone's heart. Especially ones like Goro Akechi.

"So you do admit that our true reality poses us problems enough that we can't reach out to others when our mind is drawn to the helplessness of it," he points out. "And that's through people who don't have a biased slate, like you, who genuinely connect and empathize with others."

"Without any supernatural means possible, without bending the rules of our reality as it aligns- you know precisely what we need is a favourable environment to grow in and it will be by chance that people will decide to trust someone else and open up about their problems."

"That doesn't stop the fact that they are still hurting. That doesn't stop them from hurting others."

He hums, fingers pressed against his chin. "It's precisely what I have been working on and yet- people are drawn to persecuting me for wanting that outside this place. In our own individual realities." He chuckles lightly.

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