wipingallout

"If it wasn't me, then who would it have been, right? Sometimes it's my brother, apparently... I'm sure there's more worlds where it might've been one of my friends, or someone I've never known. I can't start playing the blame game... because who's at fault? Nyx, for answering a call? Fate, for finding someone to save humanity? Humanity for crying out in anguish?"

She shrugged, a little.

"There's nothing for me, going down that line of thought. Nothing but regret or resentment, and neither of those are going to save me. The only thing that would save me is everyone choosing kindness for others, of their own free will."

Maruki sucked in a deep breath, leaning back into the bench if only to regulate himself from being too passionate about this. People always got so defensive and pulled back when he spoke of his research, he didn't want to make Hamuko run away.

"...That free will you speak of—it’s beautiful. It really is," he began slowly, turning his eyes toward her with quiet sincerity. "But it’s not always enough. Not in the way people like to think."

He folded his hands gently in his lap, letting silence breathe between his next words.

"From a psychological standpoint... human beings are shaped by the conditions they live in—by trauma, by systems, by the people around them. Maslow called it the hierarchy of needs, didn’t he? Basic safety, belonging, stability—without those, people can’t even begin to think about higher ideals like compassion or self-actualization. We like to believe in the purity of free will, but choice is often a luxury—one afforded by the absence of fear."

"Yeah. If people had their material needs met, they could really start finding that kind of happiness. I like to think that we're getting closer to it... that one step at a time, people are choosing to do the right thing."

It doesn't help the people who are hurting right now, though - that bothers Maruki a lot. She understands why.

"There's a lot of good that could come of trying to help everyone be fed, have a home, and stuff like that... good soil and patience that would grow a beautiful garden. I like to think that even if I didn't live to see that garden, I helped plant the seeds."

People...choosing to do the right thing. He looks at this place and wonders where exactly is she seeing that sentiment play out when everyone here seems to cling to their pain and refuse help beyond the need for bonds fostered under a forceful existence.

He pauses for a bit, eyes glancing ahead- beyond the park to the trees and the quiet calm of the shrine.

She is shifting the narrative to others again. He had her. He just needs to-

"That's a really special way to look at it," he smiles. "And something I would relate to, given that I have a mini garden back home. Or well, even here honestly."

Pull her away from the mourning. Distract her before she sees that he's being too defensive.

"Gardening is fun! Yukari and Fuuka really got me sucked back into it... though right now I just have a gerbera, since growing rose bushes needs a lot more space!"

Still... hmmm...!!

"Maybe I'll plant some on 'public' property around here! Not like anyone actually owns it... I doubt the cognitive people would mind some roses. GOSH - I once saw this gorgeous rose bush that had flowers that were orange, but a soft orange, like a peach. They were SO pretty, and so friendly looking - I wish I knew who'd planted them because I wanna know if they bred their roses like that on purpose!"

Maruki's eyes lit up- visibly genuine as he turns towards her in excitement.

"Peach-colored roses? Oh, I know the ones you mean!" he said while leaning forward with the same energy that made him one of the most beloved teachers in Shujin. "Those are likely a hybrid tea rose! There's a variety called Just Joey- that blooms in a soft apricot tone. Or oh, it could've been Peace, though those lean more towards yellow."

Without really realizing it, he drifted a little too close to the past.

He paused before brushing his bangs back sheepishly. "Ah, sorry- I can really go off when it comes to plants. I've been growing everything from bonsai to trailing wisteria ever since I was a kid. That said- deliberately breeding hybrids will possibly even take years to perfect. It's practically an art form which involves focusing on cross-pollination and the soil PH but...with cognition, its possible you can...prune some factors to your favor."

Yep, great going there Takuto.

"It's a fun hobby!! I'm a little new to it... my last foster parent had a garden in her front yard that I would help with. It was one of the ways we really got to chat with each other," she beamed.

Admittedly... she hadn't gotten that close with her before getting the invitation and scholarship for Gekkoukan. Only a few months... and with so many other foster kids, she's not really surprised she didn't get any check-in calls or letters. Oh well.

"And I love flowers. Big colorful ones... little petite ones... and roses are my absolute favorite."

Maruki grasped onto that little detail- even while keeping his expression even. "Well now you have all the time in the world to really get into it. Flowers are great and don't get me started on how my friends ended up just blatantly asking me to tag along with them to get flowers for their girlfriends-!" He giggled lightly at the memory before finding himself sobering up.

"Not even sure its the same people anymore...all of them are married now though."

And he never even learnt about it until Shibusawa brought it up.

"Say...did you keep contact with her?" He could only imagine how horrified she would be, a bright girl like Hamuko passing away right after. "Please stop me if you feel uncomfortable by that question by the way, I am just curious."

Edited 2025-07-02 09:58 (UTC)

"No, not really. She made sure I was ready for the dorms, but I'd only been there for a couple of months and that was before I really learned to come out of my shell, so... I was hard to remember out of about a dozen kids she was looking after. She and I didn't really know each other very well, so it would've been strange, I think... especially since I was about to age out of the foster system. The kids around ten definitely needed more attention."

It's a double edged sword... she would've liked a care package like Akihiko got, but on the other hand... she feels a lot better that she wouldn't burden the woman very much from dying.

"I wasn't quite able to shake off the feeling of... not wanting to be a burden. It's expensive to raise a child, after all, even with subsidies... a lot of my other foster parents had to work a lot harder with me when I was younger. Caretaker burnout really is... a lot."

She's sympathetic, but... it clearly hurt her, being passed around like a baton over and over. Having to retread the same ground, reintroduce herself, try to justify or explain her sobbing or sleepwalking or nightmares. Getting in trouble for drawing or saying things that were unsettling or disturbing in class.

"Especially for a child someone doesn't really... know. A lot of them would end up stressed out and traumatized from me."

Caretaker burnout really is... a lot.

The phrase echoed in his head like a cruel understatement, sharp and grating like microphone feedback in an empty auditorium. Maruki’s expression faltered—just for a moment. The usual warmth in his face dulled, replaced by something more raw, almost visibly trembling beneath the surface.

He leaned forward slightly—not out of disrespect, but instinct. The kind of instinct that came from watching someone walk barefoot through glass and realizing they believed they were meant to.

"Hamuko-san," he said softly, voice thick with disbelief, "you were just a child."

There was a weight to those words—not scolding, but defensive, protective, like someone trying to argue with the universe itself.

"How could it have ever been you who was the problem? You were grieving, displaced, put into unfamiliar places again and again—and yet you're the one explaining yourself? You're the one carrying the guilt?" His hands clenched for a second in his lap, unclenching slowly as he let out a breath.

"No child should ever feel like they need to justify their pain. That they have to perform stability to be worthy of care. It's not your fault they didn’t know how to hold space for your grief. That doesn't make you a burden—it makes the world you were placed in unfair. Inhuman, even."

There was a long pause. The tension in his shoulders hadn't quite gone down, but his voice gentled again, that familiar soft tone of a man trained to speak with hurting people—but whose heart still gets ahead of him.

"...You didn’t make anyone suffer, Hamuko. People failed you. That’s not on you."

He smiled then, quietly with the slightest bit of sorrow.

"That's the thing, though... I think both are true. I didn't do anything on purpose... I needed help that almost no one knew how to give. And it's not really their fault... a lot of them tried very hard to adjust, but just weren't equipped, and ended up feeling worse about themselves."

She shook her head, smiling sadly.

"No one's really at fault, no one was abusive... after all, who would ever understand a child trying to describe the Dark Hour, when that should just be... a nightmare. A trauma-induced nightmare. Right? And they did their very best with what they did know."

Maruki looks at her, the anger subliming to a tension drawn on light piano notes.

"Is that what you would have told your younger self?" He asks, honestly. "If she had asked for answers- would you be happy with providing her this one?"

"Hah! If I could've met my younger self... I would've taken care of her. I would've helped her, because I actually can," Hamuko laughed, shaking her head. "I'd be there for her... I'd tell her what's going on with the scary part of the night, and the coffins, and those shadowy things that growl in the corners."

That's not what Maruki asked, though. Not really.

"But if it were someone else... yes, I think it would be important for them. It's not their fault, and it's not that anyone hates them. Things are difficult and unfair, but people don't resent you. Things will change... you'll make friends... you'll find the thing in life worth fighting for."

"A world filled with kind, welcoming people...yes," he nods slowly. "Now that would be a miracle in its own right. Maybe that was our true purpose, you know? To give each other hope..."

And yet, she would grow up realizing that she would pass away before she could really even begin to enjoy life for what its worth.

"But what if you lose it when you never had the chance to savor it?" The smile insists, even if his jaw is tight with barely unbridled emotions. "What happens when the world wishes for ruin again? So many things in your life will always be out of your control- why wait to set it all right when you have the means to escape it?"

Edited 2025-07-03 10:19 (UTC)

"The world still wishes for it. That's why I'm still the Seal," Hamuko shook her head, smiling. "Escape means sacrificing everyone else, and I won't do that. I don't have a lot of control over how events happen, but I want to give people the ability to find happiness and hope with each other. I might be the Seal for a long, long time... and that's okay. That's what I knew going in. Even if it takes forever, I know people will find their way, someday."

"Through the power of cognition anything is possible," he remarks. "I am not sure if you are from my world or not but...if we could change the general perception to let things play out a certain way- surely that could help you."

"Or your twin brother...er, I am not sure."

"Either one... I just... worry. I don't know that Nyx would be the only supernatural entity to try and inject themselves into reality like that... even if she wasn't quite..."

Hamuko trailed off a little, unsettled.

"Apparently gods of all sorts keep appearing and competing for the fate of the world. I worry about people not being strong enough to take care of each other if the worst were to pass."

"Those gods only manifest because humanity calls upon them," he answers honestly with the smallest frown of his own. "Whether one generation of persona users step forward to seal them away for good or not- it is a little hopeless at the end of the day."

"People aren't strong enough to do that on their own. Not when it offers them safety in its certainty."

"I guess it depends on whether they all function like Nyx does - she did exist long before humans, supposedly... according to Ryoji..."

An ancient consciousness... Hamuko remembered the impression of her presence, and how truly alien it was. Especially from behind her as the Seal. But she understood the feeling in a much more... raw state.

"Nyx answered humanity's call. But what if the next one doesn't? Supposedly there was one ruling over people in the future - one that the Phantom Thieves fought? And who knows how many more before or after us."

She pauses, a little, resting a hand on her chest. Over her heart, which for now, still beats.

"...I want everyone to be better. I believe that we all can be. I think... that's what our souls cry out for - a chance to light and lead ourselves. To determine our own destinies. To stand up against something impossible or inevitable and say not today - not like this."

I think... that's what our souls cry out for - a chance to light and lead ourselves. To determine our own destinies. To stand up against something impossible or inevitable and say not today - not like this.

It took everything in his power not to scoff at the unrealistic approach Hamuko was laying out for him. Like it were easy to simply step forward, watch your entire life collapse and still find the respite to continue. His heart ached with every syllable and some aspect of his disapproval showed in the way he hummed. Or with the way his brow twitched.

"That's not possible, you know."

Edited 2025-07-09 12:03 (UTC)

"It could be. It wasn't supposed to be possible for me to stand up against Nyx."

Everything had collapsed in Hamuko's world, repeatedly. People had failed her. She had to step up where others couldn't or wouldn't.

It's okay that not everyone could do that. They shouldn't need to. But those who can... there's a responsibility that someone eventually needs to take.

"I believe in people. I think we could be capable of so much more than even we think... I think the world itself can change to make it possible for people to flourish."

Maruki chuckled lightly at her words, now thoroughly amused by her words.

"Now that is something we could precisely agree on," he nods slowly. "We can absolutely change the very fabric of reality through the power of our imagination. It's why our personas exist. Otherworldly beings, gods and goddesses stemming from the general concilement of the collective conscious."

"Had I ever mentioned where my research first stemmed off from?"

It's just a difference of opinion on how, exactly, isn't it...

Still, she paid him attention, smiling. "Where from? What inspired you to look into it?"

He beamed at her.

"I was studying how we could use cognitive pscience as a way to promote social justice." There's that sheer brightness in his eyes again as he smiles at her, voice picking up momentum. "The pain in our hearts can cause us to take steps that would be otherwise distorted in nature, yes? Actions that could cause others to suffer down the line?"

"By tapping into one's cognition we can signficantly change their perception of reality- one that adheres to an encouraging environment where people grow and not cause harm to others. Not only is it a preventative measure against a criminal's distorted desire but it's also healthier. More effective than general persecution and society's unjust treatment towards offenders. It's all a cycle of violence in the end, after all."

Edited 2025-07-11 12:42 (UTC)

"Yeah...! I think if people were more empathetic as a whole, they would start making more healthy decisions for themselves and others. More able to understand people that need help, more willing to make sure everyone has their basic needs met like food and shelter... then resorting to crime because of hunger or frustration or being maligned won't be nearly as big of a problem."

It's a hopeful thought, and one that appeals to her.

"It'd give people a chance to choose to do better."

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